Secrets of resilient people.

This title is what I've watched recently on the TED. The strategy was simple and expectable. The resilence expert opened her talk saying about her grief that arose when she lost her daughter in a car accident happened 5 years ago. She narrated her psychological trauma calmly and told us how she has been able to go through the sadness and anxiety for 5 years since the worst thing happened.
She said 3 secrets of resilient people as below: The first; the resilient people regard suffering as part of life, every human existence. The second; they are good at selecting tension and switching focus, and then tuning into good things. For example, they try to think three good things happened to them each day . The third; they divide off something that is whether helping you or harming you...
It's been two months my mom left me. I am still sad and miss her very much. However, I'd like to say that I have been doing well every day routines so far. IT IS LIFE. I tried taking an official Chinese language test last Sunday. It was way higher than my current ability. I needed something that I had to focus on and to be into. Of course, I guess I would fail it though, some time in the future I will try it again. My husband has been constantly nagging me why I try that absurd thing... I knew it very well , but I did it. It was one of my ways to get over deep grief.

Hope Jarhen said in her book , "Lap girl", there are two ways to deal with a major setback. I'd like to share it with you here.